Embarrassed atheist let the moment get the best of him.
A Houston man who found reason as a youth admitted praying to dead agnostic scientist Carl Sagan on election night 2016.
“I’m so embarrassed,” said Christian Moore, 26. “I got on my knees and prayed to Carl just like he was a god. I self-reported to my atheist sponsor when I realized what was happening. Watching Hillary lose state after state was too much. I just couldn’t handle it.”
Similar admissions from nonbelievers were received at the American Humanist Association, Freedom from Religion Foundation and American Atheists. The groups fielded calls from members who said they prayed to the Force, NPR, Gloria Steinem, Harry Potter, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Richard Dawkins, Gene Roddenberry, Beyoncé, beer and Guardians of the Galaxy.
Fun times at the Creation Museum
Young Earth creationist Ken Ham, evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins and Monty Python’s John Cleese are British agents sent to revive the snooty British Empire and undermine American exceptionalism, Humanity Death Watch has learned.
Reached by telephone at the Creation Museum in Petersburg, Ky., Ham said, “God save the Queen. You finally figured it out. Now I can go back home.”
Ken Ham unmasked
Darwin protégé Richard Dawkins
Englishman John Cleese
Dawkins admitted that Ham’s character of a wacky fundamentalist Christian who preaches the world is 10,000 years old was concocted during a Guinness-infused airport layover in Brisbane. The two collaborated by phone with Cleese, who suggested Ham build a museum where “fat, stupid Americans can ride dinosaurs,” said Dawkins. “Queen Elizabeth laughed her ass off when she heard that.”