Humanity Death Watch

Tag Archive for God

Atheist: ‘I prayed to Carl Sagan on election night’

Embarrassed

Embarrassed atheist let the moment get the best of him.

A Houston man who found reason as a youth admitted praying to dead agnostic scientist Carl Sagan on election night 2016.

“I’m so embarrassed,” said Christian Moore, 26. “I got on my knees and prayed to Carl just like he was a god. I self-reported to my atheist sponsor when I realized what was happening. Watching Hillary lose state after state was too much. I just couldn’t handle it.”

Similar admissions from nonbelievers were received at the American Humanist Association, Freedom from Religion Foundation and American Atheists. The groups fielded calls from members who said they prayed to the Force, NPR, Gloria Steinem, Harry Potter, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Richard Dawkins, Gene Roddenberry, Beyoncé, beer and Guardians of the Galaxy.

Futurist Kurzweil dies in online search mishap

Ray Kurzweil proclaimed not to be God but people knew he was just underselling.

Ray Kurzweil never claimed to be God but some thought he was just underselling.

Ray Kurzweil, the inventor who popularized the technological singularity and became Google’s director of engineering, died Monday afternoon at Google’s Mountain View, Calif., headquarters during a demonstration of an experimental 4D interactive search tool that is part of the company’s acclaimed “Moonshots” program.

Singuliarty is Near cover

Kurzweil’s book popularized the idea of a technological singularity among men eager to talk about things they don’t understand.

The accident occurred in the Google holodeck, where Kurzweil became disoriented, tripped and bumped his head into space-time. “It was tragic, but even in corporeal death Ray was teaching us the critical differences between Euclidean space and Minkowski space-time,” said Larry Page, Google co-founder and chief executive officer. One source, who requested anonymity, said that Kurzweil hoped to apply the 4D search capabilities on a pet project code-named “Infinite Orgasm.”

God miffed about cryonic ‘death cheaters’

Pope Francis illustration

Cryonics, the science of using ultra-cold temperature to preserve recently dead white people so that their money-grubbing children never inherit their fortunes, has been criticized by Pope Francis, speaking on behalf of the Almighty.

Issuing “Vol. 1: Morto o non è morto,” the first invocation of papal infallibility since Pope Pius XII defined the Assumption of Mary in 1959, Pope Francis said “It is not within the purview of man to extend life beyond God’s plan.”