Humanity Death Watch

Tag Archive for Borg

NPR brain nerd used fake news to help aliens ‘cull’ humans

Shankar Vedantam sold out humanity for Facebook likes. What was he thinking?

A nine-month FBI sting operation inside National Public Radio has resulted in the arrest of a correspondent who produced fake news stories in his spare time to help the Borg collective recruit new members.

President Trump will save us from the Borg, he says.

Shankar Vedantam, NPR social science correspondent and the host of the Hidden Brain podcast, was taken into custody and charged with treason for collaborating with the Borg, a “collector” species that turns captives into cybernetic organisms. Vedantam reportedly used his knowledge of the human brain to write fake news articles that would expose people who were “Borg material.”

“We excel at repurposing simple-minded zealots from post-literate societies,” promises the Borg’s website.

Just ‘Borg me’ and get it over with, pleads Patrick Stewart

Patrick Stewart

“Locutus had his upsides,” says Patrick Stewart.

Patrick Stewart, the English actor who played Captain Jean Luc Picard on the Star Trek: The Next Generation TV series, says that he prefers life as a cybernetic organism than to attending one more Star Trek convention.

“What can I say about hanging out with Trekkies and Bill Shatner except that Locutus has started looking infinitely better with each passing day,” Stewart told HDW. “As Locutus of Borg I felt part of a motivated team with a clear mission. The Enterprise just flies off willy nilly in search of strange new worlds. Well, BFD. The Borg are do-ers.”

WME Entertainment, which represents Stewart, confirms they are in contract negotiations with Hugh of Borg in the Delta Quadrant.

Photo credit: “Patrick Stewart Met Opera 2010” by David Shankbone, licensed under CC 2.0