Humanity Death Watch

VR Pokémon GO lets players smell the blood, hear the screams


Bloodthirsty Parisians are pumped for apocalyptic Pokémon action.

Niantic, the company behind the wildly popular mobile phone app Pokémon GO, has unveiled plans for an update that allows players to experience the game in a more visceral, blood-curdling way.

“When we launched the app in July, it was a hit beyond our wildest dreams,” explained Russ Crouch, creative director at Niantic. “It was many people’s first introduction to augmented reality, and players were charmed by the chance to see Pokemon seemingly running wild in the real world. The opportunities for violence were endless. Facebook was flooded with snapshots of people balancing Pokémon on the rims of blenders, in the jaws of animals at the zoo, in the open flames of blowtorches … the level of creativity was really impressive.”

But that was four months ago. Since then interest has naturally flagged, leaving behind a core of diehard fans prone to delving into ever more depraved methods of torturing the critters they encounter. Niantic promises the update will reinvigorate the app’s fan base by using virtual reality to plunge the player into the Pokémon universe.

‘Horrific gym battles’ feature bloody outcomes 

“While you can’t physically touch the Pokémon, the experience of violence is seriously heightened. The gym battles, in particular, are especially horrific,” Crouch happily announced. “Each Pokémon has an average of eight different blood sources with unique spray patterns, as well as four new realistic screams of rage, fear, anguish and despair. I think people are going to be very happy.”


“Bring it on,” says game tester Craig Craigson.

Testers are excited about the update. “I got tired of the original game after a week or so,” reported Poké tester Craig Craigson. “But this new update has me hooked. When my Geodude wrenched that Clefairy’s arm out of its socket, I felt more alive than ever. I swear I could feel the gore dripping down my face. I just know I’ll be totally distracted playing at work.”

Crouch is confident that Pokémon GO’s transition into VR will keep the app relevant. “There’s a simple truth at the center of the Pokémon universe. People love to inflict pain. And I’m confident that as long as we stay true to that, we’ll have a successful product for years to come.”

Photo credit: Pokemon Go and Dead Pikatchu by tangi bertin, licensed under CC 2.0

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