Humanity Death Watch

Monthly Archives: November 2016

Atheist: ‘I prayed to Carl Sagan on election night’

Embarrassed

Embarrassed atheist let the moment get the best of him.

A Houston man who found reason as a youth admitted praying to dead agnostic scientist Carl Sagan on election night 2016.

“I’m so embarrassed,” said Christian Moore, 26. “I got on my knees and prayed to Carl just like he was a god. I self-reported to my atheist sponsor when I realized what was happening. Watching Hillary lose state after state was too much. I just couldn’t handle it.”

Similar admissions from nonbelievers were received at the American Humanist Association, Freedom from Religion Foundation and American Atheists. The groups fielded calls from members who said they prayed to the Force, NPR, Gloria Steinem, Harry Potter, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Richard Dawkins, Gene Roddenberry, Beyoncé, beer and Guardians of the Galaxy.

VR Pokémon GO lets players smell the blood, hear the screams

pokemon-go

Bloodthirsty Parisians are pumped for apocalyptic Pokémon action.

Niantic, the company behind the wildly popular mobile phone app Pokémon GO, has unveiled plans for an update that allows players to experience the game in a more visceral, blood-curdling way.

“When we launched the app in July, it was a hit beyond our wildest dreams,” explained Russ Crouch, creative director at Niantic. “It was many people’s first introduction to augmented reality, and players were charmed by the chance to see Pokemon seemingly running wild in the real world. The opportunities for violence were endless. Facebook was flooded with snapshots of people balancing Pokémon on the rims of blenders, in the jaws of animals at the zoo, in the open flames of blowtorches … the level of creativity was really impressive.”

But that was four months ago. Since then interest has naturally flagged, leaving behind a core of diehard fans prone to delving into ever more depraved methods of torturing the critters they encounter. Niantic promises the update will reinvigorate the app’s fan base by using virtual reality to plunge the player into the Pokémon universe.