Humanity Death Watch

Father’s Day officially changed to annual BJ Day

Fathers are excited again about their special day.

Fathers are excited again about their special day.

Thanks to the ‘Keeping it Real’ movement that’s been gaining traction over the last few years, Father’s Day has officially been renamed Annual BJ Day.

Fathers across America are rejoicing in finally getting a day that’s really about what they want, and men who have yet to become fathers say the new holiday gives them new incentive to take on that responsibility.

HappyDayJacob Dill, father and member of the Keeping it Real movement, explains, “We’re tired of whitewashed politically correct holidays. The Cleavers are long gone, and the Huxtables turned out to be a big lie,” he said. “Besides, dads can buy their own ties and fishing tackle. We cannot, however, give ourselves blowjobs.”

In the vein of Keeping it Real, many men say that once their kids were born much of their sex lives with their baby-mamas went into a steep decline. The Father’s Day blowjob is something they look forward to all year.

Though this movement takes children out of the equation and makes the day about parents, men say that’s just fine. They’re happy to trade the traditional gifts of homemade coupon books and power tools for an obligatory knob washing from the mothers of their children.

“Making the day official—calling it what it is to us in our hearts—honors the act for both the giver and the recipient,” said Dill. “This is a momentous day for fathers and even fathers to be. Kind of makes it all worth it.”

Photo credits: 104/365 – These are the times we all wish for by bp6316 and Victoria Father’s Day by Franck Genot, licensed under CC 2.0

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