Humanity Death Watch

Stoked engineers turn to Lego technology to build new infrastructure

Lego City

Kids can participate in building projects, as the construction will be considered play and child labor laws will not apply.

With Earth’s natural resources virtually depleted, engineers are scrambling for new ways to rebuild and add to humanity’s physical infrastructure. Enter “Legos as Lumber,” a plan to use the Lego interlocking brick system to construct new buildings, roads and bridges.

Architectural engineer and childhood Lego enthusiast Tucker Grimes, says, “This is going to be so rad! This kind of opportunity makes the destruction of the forests and depletion of mineral mines totally worth it.”

Grimes, the father of three, says the idea came to him after a particularly annoying Lego clean-up session.

“The damn things were everywhere. As I was digging them out from between the sofa cushions it occurred to me that millions of homes must have tons of Legos, too. I could help parents take their house back while gaining free materials for important real-world projects.” So Grimes began a “Liberate your Legos” donation center, an idea he calls “freakin’ epic!”

Grimes admits that taking away children’s Legos is cruel, but he says it’s for the greater good. Kids can even participate in the new building projects, as the construction will be considered play and child labor laws will not apply.

“The world is going to look so cool! And I’ll be as famous as architects like Frank Lloyd Wright or Christopher Wren,” says Grimes.

“Who?” says Grimes’ children, who vow to combat their father’s plan with a “Leggo my Legos” campaign. “They can just get the Lego factory to make new ones. Duh. Why should we have to give up our stuff?”

Reportedly, Grimes’ wife Sandy is staying neutral on the issue. She was not immediately available for comment due to mommy martini time.

Lego City Overview by Sonny Abesamis, licensed by CC 2.0

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