Humanity Death Watch

Scientists unleash robot Godzillas to demolish small town America

In the name of progress, Godzilla replicas unleashed their pre-programmed wrath on small towns across America.

In a giant step for mankind, Godzilla replicas destroyed 483 small towns across America.

Robotics engineers at Google-owned Boston Dynamics are calling operation “Godzilla Getcha Some” a huge success after releasing giant automaton replicas of the famed reptilian on small towns across the nation.

Decaying one-horse towns in the United States have long been a problem as people have abandoned them or chose to die off rather than join the Advanced Being Alliance, or ABA, who reside in super cities around the world. The towns have become a stark reminder of a time when people ate casseroles, watched the Home Shopping Network and stayed in the closet all their lives.

“Little towns have to go,” said Land Czar Curtis Sloe. “I think we all collectively feel like it’s time to shed our humble beginnings. We’re better off forgetting our ancestors who put their life savings in the Powerball® lottery and believed in the wrath of Satan, and we figured we’d have a little fun with it.”

Engineers celebrated Godzilla's advanced functionality with fine Japanese meal.

Engineers celebrated Godzilla’s advanced functionality with a fine Japanese meal.

Tens of thousands of people flocked to safe zones surrounding the 483 small towns designated for destruction. Across the country, millions more gathered at movie theaters, bars and house parties to view the long-awaited pre-programmed fury of the Godzilla reproductions.

Based on the operation’s success, Sloe says he’d like to make it into a bi-annual event until all the small towns in the U.S are demolished, making room for the expansion of super cities and bio-domes to house earth’s remaining animal species, marijuana gardens and what’s left of viable nature.

Photo credits: Godzilla invades New Hampshire by Glass _House by 8 by Ian Collins, licensed under CC 2.0

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