Humanity Death Watch

‘Game of Thrones’ fans coping with depression as final book nears

The hopes and dreams of readers are crumbling.

Some readers are asking themselves if life will be worth living.

To the bewilderment of fans worldwide, the much anticipated seventh and final book of George R. R. Martin’s “A Song of Ice and Fire” series is slated to be released this year.

The news is bittersweet to fans, some of whom have lived their entire lives anticipating new installments of the book series that spawned the critically acclaimed HBO series “A Game of Thrones.” Diehard fans say they can’t imagine a world in which there is no more waiting for the next book.

Author George R.R. Martin faced a Congressional inquiry into why the “A Song of Ice and Fire” series could not continue.

George R.R. Martin faced a Congressional inquiry into why the “A Song of Ice and Fire” series could not continue.

Support groups are popping up all over the globe to help the afflicted, many who report feeling as helpless and full of despair as Sansa Stark when she was living at the Red Keep.

Chester Marsupial, 50, is one such fan.

The waiting is part of who I am’

“I read the first five books all in a row, because they’d long been published by the time I decided to see what all the fuss was about. Of course, I was immediately hooked, and I anxiously waited for nearly twenty years for the publication of the sixth book, “The Winds of Winter,” said Marsupial. “But in the waiting, something magical happened.”

Marsupial touched his first woman at a local A Song of Ice and Fire Anticipators (ASOIAFA) potluck, when he accidentally elbowed a Cersei Lannister impersonator in the left boob.

"The Others may as well take me," said Buttcliffe, a dead ringer for Queen Daenerys Targaryen.

“The Others may as well take me,” said Buttcliffe, a dead ringer for Queen Daenerys Targaryen.

The woman gave Marsupial what he described as a “tongue lashing worthy of the beautiful and malevolent queen of Westeros.” Still, the incident is something Marsupial says he’ll always have in his spank bank, and it was all thanks to having to wait on the next book.

“The waiting is part of who I am,” said Marsupial.

ASOIAFA founder Linda Buttcliffe said the news that the epic fantasy saga is coming to an end has rocked the foundation of her life.

“What will I have to talk about with no more future plot twists to theorize? What, in life will I have to look forward to once I read that last page? Seven hells,” said Buttcliffe. “The Others may as well just take me.”

Photo credits: Perplexed: Tyrion Lannister, Game of Thrones by Duncan Hull, George R. R. Martin by Gage SkidmoreOKIMG_2927 by taymtaym, licensed under CC 2.0

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