Humanity Death Watch

NFL ponders allowing teams to rotate in and out of L.A.

Former season ticket holder Merlin Van Brocklin misses the excitement the L.A. Rams brought to his life.

Former season ticket holder Merlin Van Brocklin misses the excitement the L.A. Rams brought to his life.

In an ongoing effort to return NFL football to the city of Los Angeles, league officials are pondering a system where multiple teams take turns calling L.A. their hometown.

It’s been more than 20 years since the Raiders and the Rams departed from the second-largest media market in the United States. The NFL currently pulls in just $10 billion annually, which equates to each of the 32 teams receiving a meager $226-million-revenue-sharing check to scrape by on each year.

Three teams are currently looking to blow off local fans who spend $75 for nosebleed tickets and drink $10 light beers to cheer for their helmeted gridiron stars: the Oakland Raiders, the St. Louis Rams and the San Diego Chargers. The NFL had said up to two teams might be allowed to move to L.A., and there are two separate plans to build new stadiums in Inglewood and Carson.

LaBrea floated as location for stadium

The latest idea to emerge from behind the steel-reinforced golden walls of NFL headquarters is to let teams alternate playing home games in one new stadium, possibly built in La Brea.

“Why not rotate teams in and out of L.A?,” said a source who works for the NFL and requested anonymity, fearing he might lose his caviar lunch privileges if his name became public. “That way, fans in other cities would only miss their team for a year. It’s win-win; in Los Angeles, fans are so fickle they won’t care who is playing on the field, as long as their sky box is filled with kale wraps and organic chicken kabobs.”

If the plan is approved by 24 of the league’s owners, a rock-scissors-paper tournament would be arranged to see which NFL team would be the first to take up temporary quarters in L.A.

Really, watching the Superbowl?” by Wonderlane, licensed under CC 2.0

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