Humanity Death Watch

Couple meets in person for first time at 30th wedding anniversary

Couple eating ice cream cone

“Cecilia had only seen my face with an airbrush effect added, so I was extra nervous,” said Markus.

Last week in Cincinnati, Ohio, loving married couple Markus and Cecilia Baker made international news when they announced they would finally meet in person for the first time, in honor of their 30th wedding anniversary. On Tuesday, the couple met at Baskin Robbins, where they shared a double dip cone of Chocolate Multiverse Crunch ice cream.

Though the couple gained notoriety for their controversial decision to meet and make physical contact, their relationship began 31 years ago like any other. Markus sent Cecilia an eHarmony message full of winking emoticons and comments about his love of the archaic television program “Full House.”

“Our courtship was like a fairy tale,” Cecilia recalled.

The couple’s Skype wedding was live-streamed to dozens of friends and family members. For the next three decades, they enjoyed a healthy marriage based on Snapchat messages and Facebook pokes, before deciding it was time to drive across town and meet one another.

“Things were feeling a bit stale,” Markus confided. “Plus, her new Internet connection isn’t very reliable. Her video feed would always lag, and it put quite a strain on our sex lives.”

The couple says their in-person meeting went off without a hitch, despite an initial embrace marred by Markus’s sweaty palms and Cecilia’s temporary blindness.

“Cecilia had only seen my face with an airbrush effect added,” Markus said, “so I was extra nervous. But marriage is for better or worse.”

After getting ice cream, the couple teleported to Markus’s home, where they binge-experienced “Full House” episodes, lamented Netflix’s “Fuller House” remake and cried over Bob Saget’s sad end as a homicidal porn star.

“Meeting Cecilia was everything I hoped it would be,” Markus said. “We’re already talking about doing it again for our 50th anniversary.”

Photo credit: Ice Cream Man by Jack, licensed under CC 2.0

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