Former President Obama and Avengers’ foe Ultron are merging to destroy humanity. Overseen by Avengers’ nemesis Thanos, their biological convergence took place this week at a shuttered Walmart Supercenter in Henderson, Texas, Humanity Death Watch has learned.
“As the antichrist it’s been fun collaborating with Ultron to put an end to humankind,” said Obama prior to his melding with Ultron. “I have a lot of respect for his work against the Avengers, and I admire his personal growth as a supervillain.”
“While I excel at killing people, Barack can actually make them line up and feel good about it,” stated Ultron. “His lure of affordable healthcare, more jobs and immigration reform, when his real goals were death panels, communism and American disempowerment, showed strategic sophistication that most supervillains lack.”
Following the NBA playoffs, Obamatron plans to begin its campaign of destruction in Texas, ground zero of the federal government’s failed 2015 invasion attempt disguised as the Jade Helm military exercise.