Humanity Death Watch

Transhumans beating snot out of regular humans at pretty much everything


“I’m a techno-optimist,” said Vice President Herman Cain.

Enhanced humans are eclipsing traditional humans in nearly every way, reveals a new study sponsored by the World Council for Transhumanity. “The only category in which legacy humans outshine transhumans is humility, for obvious reasons,” said Paradise Pearce, the study’s lead researcher.

U.S. President Zoltan Istvan endorsed the study’s findings and encouraged Americans to “get with the program” of accelerating evolution through the aggressive application of genetic engineering, robotics and other technologies. He pointed to Vice President Herman Cain as an example of the transformative powers of craniofacial surgery and new brain-computer interface technology.

Photo credit: Comic Con 2013 – Cyborg and Hawkgirl cosplayers by Christopher Brown, licensed under CC 2.0

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