Humanity Death Watch

Kids sue parents to get microchips removed

Hall of Fame broadcaster Milo Hamilton was a ploy in parents' evil scheme.

Hall of Fame broadcaster Milo Hamilton was a ploy in parents’ evil scheme.

Attorneys representing Erik and Jenna Petersen, ages 15 and 10, filed suit today in Harris County District Court in Houston, Texas, to force the children’s parents to pay for the removal of microchips the parents had implanted shortly following the children’s births. The microchips were used to monitor and influence the children’s movements, thoughts, food intake and bodily functions.

The children were unaware of the microchips inserted in their prefrontal lobes, said lead attorney Dick Deguerin, until last fall when Eric’s youthful sexual dreams began to feature “play-calling” by former Houston Astros broadcaster Milo Hamilton. “Eric knew something wasn’t right when he awoke one night screaming ‘holy Toledo,’ Hamilton’s signature home-run call.” Jenna complained of always hearing her mother’s voice demanding that she clean her room and brush her hair.

The children’s father, Simon Petersen, is former president of the Houston Astros fan club. Four years ago Eric Petersen contacted Child Protective Services when his parents refused to allow him to change his legal name to Eric from the name his parents gave him at birth: Jesus Alou Petersen. “Jesus Alou was my father’s favorite player, but it’s still not right. I mean, we’re Scandinavian.”

“Simon Petersen and his wife are serial abusers,” said Deguerin, who is seeking $5 million in punitive damages for the children, in addition to surgical fees.

The Petersen parents admitted they had the microchips implanted but claim their motive was the children’s safety. “There are crazy people out there, and our primary job as parents is to protect our children,” said Simon Petersen.

Photo credit: “DSC_1374” by Ed Uthman, licensed under CC 2.0

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