Humanity Death Watch

Death is underrated, say church ladies

jello mold

Alarming drops in deaths are causing concern among church ladies and an oversupply of popular funeral reception foods.

Church ladies, the women who provide homemade food and reassuring glances during funeral receptions, report that declining death rates are killing their spirit.

“Death is a way of life for me and the other ladies, and it’s threatened by genetic engineering, big data, and don’t get me started about that damned Obamacare,” said Alma Jefferson, 73, a member of the Ephemeral Life Church of Silicon Valley. “People underestimate what dying can do for your self-esteem and reputation in the community.”

Photo credit: “Jessie’s Manhattan Jello Mold” by Ann Larie Valentine, licensed under CC 2.0

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